In the words of the greatest political mind of a decent generation, “I’m less visually observant than others, but I make up for it…with cunning and guile.”

I am The Son of Sam Seaborn.#


In a few minutes, Hillary Clinton is going to walk on stage to debate Donald Trump in what is being billed as the single biggest political event of the century.

Here is some last-minute advice I have for her…


Get Your GIF On

Do you remember what Hillary said during the 11-hour Benghazi hearings?

Neither do I.

Because, like the rest of the internet, when I hear ‘Benghazi’ I think of this:


C-SPAN has already said that they will be broadcasting the entire debate in split-screen, and other networks are likely do the same, meaning that every single word Trump says is an opportunity for Hillary to react – even (/especially) if it’s with just one of her signature non-verbal glances – and land that visual moment.

One good “get a load of this guy” image, and you’ve written most reporters’ ledes for them.


Trust in the Second-Screen Experience

The media has officially turned on Trump, and it’s times like this when that is going to be a tangible disadvantage.

Between fact-checking chyrons, an army of unofficial surrogates spinning in real-time, and the digital doppelgänger of @HillaryClinton roaming the Twittersphere like a free safety, the Democrats are poised to let their technological prowess make up for Trump’s lack of factual integrity and disorienting unpredictability.


Tell Your Story

How many voters out there know where Hillary Clinton was born?#

Or where she went to college?#

Or that she has a degree from Yale Law School?#

For how much we know about Hillary Rodham Clinton, we never discuss her ‘story.’


Obviously that has a lot to do with her tenuous relationship with the media, but this year’s Democratic National Convention showed how deserving of empathy the character of Hillary Clinton can be when contextualized in the right way#.

To paraphrase famous legal mind Jeffrey Winger, “What we see may not be what we want, but it’s also what we get…”


Trap Him in the Honey Pot

Donald Trump, for all his bluster and all his misogyny, isn’t great at taking on women face-to-face (see: “the bimbo” Megyn Kelly).

Just ask Carly Fiorina, who was able to land a significant bodyblow during the GOP primary debates when responding to Trump’s comments about her face…

If Hillary can get Donald Trump to attack not just her, but all the women at home watching, with some derogatory off-the-cuff remark, then she’s lured him into one hell of a political Honey Pot and landed him in a very sticky situation.



Misc. Retorts

If Bill’s infidelity gets brought up: “Bill and I’s 41 years of marriage have seen their highs and lows, and, because of our decades of public service, you’ve seen some of them too. However, as a devout Methodist who still believes in the vow she spoke in a small ceremony in Fayetteville, Arkansas, I am proud to say that every night I get to go to sleep next to the only person who I’ve ever said ‘I do’ to.”

If Trump stumbles on rules, talks over her, or in any way gets scolded by Lester Holt (the moderator): “You’ll have to forgive him, this is his first time in a real debate.”

When you got nothin’: “When I hear things like this from my opponent, or when I find out that he has tweeted something that I feel very confidently calling deplorable, I’ve started going back to a favorite phrase from my good friend Michelle Obama: ‘When they go low, we go high.’

Now give ’em hell, Future Madame President.