Twitter is wonderful. In fact, you should follow Random Nerds on there. However, we find the 140 character limit a bit, well, limiting sometimes when it comes to our ‘Cool thought, but there isn’t a whole article here’ ideas.

Too Long; Couldn’t Tweet is where we share those 141+ character thoughts stuck in limbo between tweet and post.


A few hours ago, while writing the introduction to today’s edition of The Morning Commute — our “rousing digest of the morning’s news, set to a soundtrack worth waking up for” — I let myself get taken over with unheralded and (relatively) uncharacteristic vitriol over the early barrage of headlines and commentaries dedicated to analyzing the excerpt from Hillary Clinton’s new memoir that Simon & Schuster released with the sunrise.

And when I was done hitting send on that email, I couldn’t wait to whittle that shit down and tweet it; like one is supposed to do with all their sporadic conniptions:

But unfortunately, weighing in at a mean 369 words (2,161 characters), my Zieglerian contestation ended up being far too hefty for me to shove through Twitter’s narrow doorway.

Thus, it feels destined to live on forever in Too Long; Couldn’t Tweet purgatory…


“The landscape altering Kyrie-for-Isaiah trade should be the hot piece of gossip getting prime billing at the water cooler today, but odds are at least one person you know is going to bring up the since-released excerpt from Hillary Clinton’s upcoming tell-all What Happened instead.

As such, please allow this (reluctant) Hillary voter the indulgence of explaining why I find this whole thing infuriating…

  • I assure you that nothing the politically toxic Hillary and her ghostwriters said in this book will help the Democratic party heal/unite, meaning Clinton herself is the only person (besides her publishing company) profiting from releasing this kind of book, at this moment, in this way.

In short, as I have said before, paradoxical as it may seem, Hillary Clinton’s most damaging weakness as a candidate was the glaring fact that she couldn’t find a way to beat Donald Trump (et al.), for he is ultimately the closest thing to a manifestation of the various ills that are plaguing America in 2017.

What happened? We needed a troll hunter, and we got an administrator.”


If, for some reason, you’re still wasting your commute with clickbait and mediocre synth-pop, here’s your chance at transformational transportational salvation…

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